You already know what do to. You just don’t know that you know.

Photo by Alireza Attari on Unsplash

We all get down sometimes. There’s no escaping it. Life suddenly goes grey, and nothing feels quite right. What looked perfectly fine just a little while ago now looks sad, depressing, frustrating or maybe even unbearable.

It can happen because we’re tired, or because we’re coming down with something. It can happen because we haven’t taken time to exercise, or because we’ve been moving at warp speed for days (or weeks, or months or, gulp…years?). And it can happen for no reason at all, simply because we’re human and that’s what humans do.

But we really don’t like it. We…

And why it means your marriage doesn't ever have to get old

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When you start to understand the inside-out nature of our experience of life, relationships get a whole lot easier.

You start to see that you’re creating your own experience with your thinking and that your thinking changes as often and as capriciously as the weather. You become skeptical of your own thoughts, about yourself, about others, about your partner.

It becomes second nature to disregard those insecure and judgmental thoughts that spring up unbidden when you’re tired when you haven’t made time for those long runs you love, or when they just do for no reason at all.

They no…

Photo by henor teneqja on Unsplash

There is so much hopelessness and despair in these strange times.

Young people are looking ahead to a future that looks bleak, seemingly stripped of opportunities and possibility. Older people have been deprived of time with their children and grandchildren, living in constant worry about contracting Covid. And then there are the parents, especially parents of young children, trapped at home, having to wear so many hats, with precious few opportunities to take a breath and find a quiet moment of ease.

Hope seems to be in short supply. …

Love is not what you think it is. Knowing what it really is will set you free.

I am sitting in a camp chair in the middle of a corral with a horse named Spirit.

For two years, he has been my greatest teacher and guide, guiding me over and over to powerful, life-changing insights.

Within minutes of sitting down near him, Spirit walks purposefully over to where I’m sitting. He stands right in front of me, his legs up against my knees, his powerful chest across from my face, and his head above me.

He bends down and puts…

Ideas on navigating the emotional challenge of mass shootings

Photo by Andrew Seaman on Unsplash

Last night my 15 year old son told me he wants to flee the country. You’d think we live in Venezuela or Honduras. But, no, we live in the United States of America.

He said he saw the statistics about the number of mass shootings per year in the US vs the number of mass shootings in other major developed countries. The US had more mass shootings than the next ten countries combined. In 2018 alone, we had 268. So far in 2019, there have already been 255.

Here we are…

I quit worrying. You can too.

It’s high school graduation season! If you have a graduate or are close to one, you know that it’s an exciting time of gratitude, hope and celebration.

And fear.

For many parents, it’s one of the scariest days of the year. Because graduation night in many places means graduation parties. Big graduation parties. Our little town in the Rockies is no exception. Our high schoolers head way out into the woods and have a big, all-out, rowdy party to celebrate the grads. They’re out of cell phone range, there are substances involved, they make…

Photo by zhang kaiyv on Unsplash

Have you ever noticed how often people use the word “busy” when you ask them how they are?

You run into someone you know at the grocery store, the bank or the post office and inevitably the word “busy” emerges almost immediately when you ask the simple question “how are you?”

  • “Busy”
  • “Super busy”
  • “I’ve been so busy”
  • “It’s just so busy right now”
  • “Crazy busy”

It’s seems to be a badge of honor. If you’re not “busy”, you’re not trying hard enough, or achieving enough, or working enough. …

Sumaya Abu-Haidar, Ph.D.

Relentlessly curious reader, writer, and educator. Transformational life coach and catalyst for insight, inspiration, and wonder.

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